Sometimes you have a bad week. Or even just a bad day. I tried convincing myself that Wednesday was going to be a good day, a productive day off from both of my jobs. I listened to the first January Series speaker, watched a TED Talk, caught up on my YouTube subscriptions, and watched a movie I’d wanted to see for a few months now. But it wasn’t a very good day, nor was it very productive. I felt like I had picked up a fair amount of knowledge and I felt rested, but my heart just felt empty. I didn’t see a single person, not even my roommate, and I put off phone calls with friends because sometimes simply being sad is easier than being vulnerable (let’s face it – being vulnerable is pretty damn scary).
I’ve been thinking a lot about goals for 2014 (naturally) and I’ve narrowed it down to a handful of words: change, grow, create, adapt, and inspire.
Change. | In the past, I’ve had sad days… but they’ve mostly been sad weeks and/or months. I’m trying to get better at working through problems and getting past them. For me, this involves accountability check-ins every week or so with two of my best friends. It also involves taking care of myself better – eating healthy (well, some days), working out regularly, and learning how to say “no” instead of constantly trying to please others and meet their needs.
Grow. | I’m taking this semester off from school in order to work and I guess kind of re-find myself, which means I have a LOT more free time than I’m used to having. I’m trying to use this time to better myself in different ways (though I’ve been slacking and sleeping in a lot this week). I want to read more books and generally gain more insight to a lot of different things. I want to write more letters and strengthen friendships with people who I care about very much. I also want to be more intentional about my spiritual life. I took communion this past Sunday for the first time in six months. In those moments alone at the table, I found my Jesus again and I can’t wait to see where we go together this year. My favorite times with Jesus this week have been spent reading 1 Corinthians in my Spanish New Testament. I haven’t used the Spanish I know very much in the past few years, so I can’t always understand exactly what I’m reading, but I read it aloud and man, Jesus just finds his way into my heart and speaks so much truth to me.
Create. | In my free time over the next few months, I also really want to spend more time writing – both personally in my journals and publicly here, so expect to actually see posts more frequently! I’m also hoping to dig into some textbooks (which is lame, but cool (to me, at least)) and write more code. Ideally, I’ll have a new look for my blog in a few months, too. :) There’s also a stack of canvases on my shelf that need to have some color added to them, so I’ll be painting more, which I’m really looking forward to.
Adapt. | This was actually one of the first words I decided on and I chose it while driving back to Cincinnati after spending a weekend in Grand Rapids between Christmas and New Year’s. This is also something I don’t think I’ve shared with anyone yet, so here we go! I had a lot of time to think while I was in Michigan (and while driving to and from) and I knew in my heart that, while it is a beautiful place full of beautiful people who have impacted my life greatly, it is no longer my home. While driving around the city during my visit, I saw familiar places, but it wasn’t like what I experience here in Cincinnati. Here, I drive around thinking, “this is my Target/Kroger/Meijer,” “this is my church,” “this is my favorite spot to visit with this person.” In Michigan, all I could think while driving was, “this is a place where I experienced this with these people.” It was no longer about the places, but merely about the memories I had with people who shaped who I am today. And so, here I am, finding my identity and my purpose in a city and a state that I will soon legally call home. I’m planning to become a resident of Ohio within the next month and a half or so and I could not be more excited (I’m also not complaining about FINALLY paying in-state tuition when I return to school in May).
Inspire. | I’ll be honest – I don’t know exactly why this word made my list. Maybe it’s my twentysomething way of saying I want to “be the change you see in the world.” I just want to really thrive this year and live in a way that means something to someone.
As you may or may not have known, I deleted my Facebook just before the new year. It has been quite wonderful and I really do not miss it. I do, however, miss knowing what is going on in your lives! Please feel free to share with me, either in a comment or an email, what’s going on in your neck of the woods and what you’re hoping for in 2014. :)